• Tara Banks

When You’re Searching…

Have you ever been looking for something? Something you thought, for sure, you would find? A job? A house? A car? An avocado that is just right? (Why is that so hard?! ◡̈ )

Or maybe something much more significant.

A word from the Lord? A healing touch? A desire to be truly known?

There have been many times when I have been searching. Searching for an answer when the way seems dark. Searching for healing for a friend or me when it's taking way too long. Searching to hear his voice when I don't feel like I can hear him. Searching for significance in a world that always leaves you wanting. Searching for purpose in a way too busy life.

Asking all the hard questions. Getting none of the answers.

Just being real - have you ever been there? You are not alone.

As humans, we are seekers. We are on an eternal quest to find what our souls are looking for. We do a great job of trying to fill up voids in our lives with every other thing in our search except THE thing that will completely satisfy.

One of my favorite Pastors said one time, "All Christians leak." We need to be refilled daily by the Holy Spirit to receive his power to live the abundant life God set out for us to live. That fruitless search in all.the.other.things.in life is just a reflection of us trying to find the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit that has 'leaked 'out.

When we find ourselves searching, it is a beautiful alert to the fact that we've leaked. Instead of desperately trying to find the answers to the questions we're after, we need to turn to the Father, who is ready to refill us and ultimately be THE thing we've been after all along. We all leak. We all need to be refilled. We all have a choice as to what we choose to try to refill our lives with. ((And spoiler alert - there is only One thing that actually satisfies - and it's not the thing we're worried about.)) It's all about searching for the right thing.

Recently I was walking along a beach, thinking, praying, and asking some hard questions. I needed to hear from the Lord. As I walked along, I was reminded that I was on a stretch of beach known for a particularly rare shell that is only found in a few locations in the world and is quite valuable. It's called a sunrise shell. The colors are stunning, and people often turn them into jewelry or have them on display. To add to their value, they are hard to find as their colors aren't usually revealed until they are cleaned up a bit. So at first glance, you'd probably not recognize it or be compelled to pick it up. Within minutes, my walk soon turned from 'I need to talk to the Lord and get some clarity on some things' to 'I need to find this shell.' My focus shifted, and I became obsessed with unearthing a sunrise shell… TODAY. I WILL find one - TODAY. ((Mind you - I've walked this beach back and forth over the last 20+ years more times than I can count and have NEVER found one. Not one)). I was now no longer walking but bent over, carefully examining the earth, scanning the sand, turning over any shell I saw. Picking some up, dusting them off. Standing ankle-deep in the water and looking for shells turning in the surf. I had been on this quest for about 30 minutes when the Lord stopped me in my literal tracks.

The pause.

He said, "What do you think would happen if you were seeking me as hard as you are seeking after this shell? If you were picking up and turning over every thought to me. If you were dusting off your doubt and handing it to me to examine. If you were standing ankle-deep in my presence watching me turn it all for good?"

Needless to say, I stopped shell searching. It was just a tiny pause on the beach…pausing to hear his voice and to gain a bit of clarity in a tiny moment. ((Remember fellow "Wait-er"… It's not a matter of 'Is He speaking?'… it's a matter of 'Are we listening?'. And that day - I heard him loud and clear. It was a kind, but a calculated gut punch from the Lord, and I needed it in the best way possible.))

So, this week - Are you searching? If so, let that searching be a gentle reminder to you that you need to be refilled and to put your focus on THE One that can make you whole and holds the answers. Seek him with your whole heart. Only he can satisfy. ♡


" I love those who love me; those who search hard for me will find me." - Proverbs 8:17


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